Season 4, Episode #12 (#85)in series (95 episodes)
Mork & Mindy finally have some time alone again for the first time since they got married, but reconnecting and getting romantic doesn't prove as easy as hoped.
Present Tense was the 12th episode from the Season 4 of Mork & Mindy, also the 85th overall series episode. Written by Winifred Hervey, the episode, which was directed by Bob Claver, premiered on ABC-TV on January 14, 1982.
When Fred takes Mearth on vacation, Mork & Mindy have their first extended time alone together since they were newlyweds. But reconnecting as a couple, rather than parents, doesn't go as smoothly or romantically as hoped for.
Plot[]
Returning from Denver airport, Mindy, and a seriously souvenir bedecked Mork, have just dropped Fred & Mearth off for their grandfather/son camping trip to Florida. Regarding him with wry amusement Mindy note's that only her husband could buy out the gift shop at his own home town airport. Mork bemoans the fact that he had to do something to take his mind off being Mearth-less for a whole week. Mindy agrees that they'll miss him, but feels it will be good for Mearth to spend time away, doing outdoorsy things with his grandfather, even if Mork does think it sounds like the beginning of the movie Deliverance. More to the point she thinks that she and Mork could use the time together. Reminding him that this is the first time they've had alone virtually since they returned from their honeymoon, Mearth having arrived so soon after their wedding.
Screening Room Pick - TV Guides Screening Room section picked outstanding episodes of TV for the upcoming week. Present Tense being the one for January 14th, 1982
Mork agrees, but the talk quickly returns to missing Mearth, his attempts to take pictures of them in compromising positions, pushing Mork on the swing in the park, and comments about how different Mindy looks first thing in the morning. Catching how they're talking Mindy rolls her eyes and points out that there's more to their marriage than being parents, before flirtatiously asking Mork if he has any ideas about what they could do during their week alone? When Mork suggests an upcoming TV show about the Donner party, starring the Osmonds, Mindy tries hard *not* to envisage that, before suggesting that she had something more exciting and exotic in mind. Mork musing that they could get a parrot and teach it to talk dirty? When Mindy huffs slightly he confesses that he's teasing her. That they are a couple of trendy well dressed young people, the world belonging to them...and the OPEC nations.
As she notes his smooth talk and grins as he slides close to her, she squeaks as he pounces, diving for and kissing her neck voraciously. Just as the phone starts to ring. Not that that, or her getting up to answer it, dissuades him. Mindy giggling as he goes with her, his mouth still latched to her throat. Growling amorously as she answers the phone, he ignores her half hearted attempts to stop him burrowing under her hair to keep kissing her neck. Trying to control both her giggles and him, she attempts to have a phone conversation with Mr. Sternhagen at the station. Her good mood dissipating as it goes on. Hanging up the phone, with Mork still working his way around her neck, she groans in frustration, apologizing to him that she has to go. A used car salesman has been kidnapped and no one wants to pay the ransom, or cover the story, so she's been assigned. Not the way she wanted to start their week together. He tells her not worry and he'll have a Magic evening ready for her when she gets home.
When she returns home she finds a little more than she bargained for, the apartment transformed. Exotic North African music playing, her living room furniture gone, replaced with cushions and a low slung table filled with the Moroccan food Mork has made from scratch for her. Stunned and already pretty sure he's gone too far, she's convinced of it when Mork appears from the bedroom in costume to almost complete the illusion. However, growing appreciative of the efforts he's gone to, and starting to enjoy the lunacy, she thanks him and tells him to sit eager to talk with him, only for them to be interrupted by a timer going off as Mork goes to fetch their first course 'Froot Cok Tale'. Getting into the food, and each other, they attempt a 'Tom Jones' style seductive feeding of one another, which goes a little wrong (getting fresh camel lips in Boulder being a problem),
Relaxing, Mindy confesses she was a little worried that now that they were alone without Mearth they would find it hard to find things to talk about. Mork dismisses that as any kind of concern, but at the same time further postpones said conversation, by summoning the last piece of the illusion of the night. Standing up and starting fresh music, he claps his hands, summoning the appearance from their bedroom of Fatima, a belly dancer, who goes into full flow right beside them. Mindy finding it more awkward than anything, Mork tells her he would have gotten a snake charmer but his kind was having a bar mitzvah Leaving Mindy to try and make uneasy conversation with the silently dancing Fatima, Mork goes to get their main course, flaming shish kabobs. Impressing Mindy, until Mork makes the mistake of pouring too much alcohol over them, sending flames shooting up and Mork into a panic. That portion of the evening concluding with Mindy putting out the small fire.
Later, changed into their night gear, putting the living room back together, Mork berates himself for how their romantic evening went. Mindy laughing it off and reassuring him, that it was hardly a tragedy, Mork however suspects that Fatima has danced off with their toaster oven. Shrugging that off too, Mindy is appreciative of what he tried to do, but confesses she's glad Fatima's out and they are alone. Relaxing, Mork agrees they don't need external stimuli, the couple cozying up together on the couch, Mork wrapping his arms around his wife as they nestle. But the romantic moment leads only to a protracted silence as they struggle to find anything to say to each other.
When they do talk, Mork's conversation is entirely superficial and Mindy keeps pushing him to talk about something substantial. When she gets annoyed at having to prompt him, she accuses him of getting defensive, but he feels she is out of line. Wanting to know what's wrong with a husband having a conversation with his wife, she points out that their lives have been moving so fast that they haven't had a chance to talk about hardly anything. Like what he wants to know? Well, she says, he hasn't even said whether he likes being married. He tells her he does but can't really tell her why. Except, the bed is warmer. Starting to get exasperated with him, she goes to give up, but he tells her if she wanted snappy repartee she should've married William F. Buckley.
Accepting that she apologizes, telling him she loves him. At which he asks her why. Happy to have a starting point, she sits back down on the couch with him, and tells him, she loves him because he's warm, sensitive, and unpredictable...and he's right, the bed is warmer. All of which he takes smiling bashfully...before there is silence as she waits for him to return the sentiment. Having to prompt him as to whether he has anything he wants to say to her in return, he softly says he does, Mindy leaning eagerly to him, only for him to tell her she has couscous in her teeth. That being the final straw, Mindy gives up saying she's sorry she brought the whole thing up, heading for the bedroom. Following her Mork wants to know who is refusing to communicate now? How can you communicate, she asks, with someone who has nothing to say?! Saying maybe he would, if he wasn't being interrogated by the Boulder Gestapo. Irked, she wants to know where he gets off calling her names, 'Spaceboy!' Things dissolve from there into an out and out fight, ending with Mork going into a full Orkan language rant at her, storming out and accidentally locking himself out of the apartment, while Mindy storms off to their bedroom, slamming the door and refusing to let him back in.
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Cut Scene[]
The next morning the doorbell rings, and a dejected and sleep deprived Mork alone in the apartment and feeling unable to face the outside world wanders to open the door. Outside there's an Exterminator (played by Hamilton Camp, see Trivia section below), replete in overalls with flashlight, spray gun and the name 'Marty' embroidered onto his overalls. Greeting Mork pleasantly he tells him the Landlord (Mr. Klevins) sent him, asking Mork how he's doing. Terrible, Mork tells him, his world feeling like it's unravelling like a cheap sweater with the magic going out of his marriage. The Exterminator is less than empathic, noting that life is tough all over before heading in to the kitchen to shine his flashlight under the sink to seek out the little buggers. Mork in desperate need of someone to talk to, leans on the counter watching him work, and offering further details about his dilemma, telling him about the fight he and Mindy had the night before, and the fact he ended up sleeping in the hallway till the paperboy rolled him.
Still unengaged by Mork's issues, the Exterminator tells him that in his experience there is one answer to all questions, "I don't know, but I can take a look at it for thirty five dollars." Leaving Mork mystified about what that has to do with his marriage. The Exterminator wonders just what exactly it is Mork wants from him, he *is* an exterminator, not a marriage counsellor. Asking Mork if he thought he'd drive a stupid truck with a picture of a roach in front of a firing squad if he wasn't? As the Exterminator starts to check and spray the baseboards, Mork follows him, admitting that he knows it's none of the Exterminator's business and that he's sorry to bug him. Which draws a wry 'everyone's a comedian' comment from the long suffering worker. Mork explains that their son has gone away and suddenly Mindy and he become strangers in the night...without the scooby dooby doo. Sighing, the Exterminator notes this isn't his day, having just dealt with an old lady who made him fold her bed sheets, before telling Mork not to breathe in the stuff he's spraying as it'll kill him. Before he's completely taken aback as a miserable Mork unable to take the idea of losing Mindy grabs him by the lapels saying he can't take it anymore, and begs him to spray him, spray him hard!
Muttering to himself that he should never have left the seminary, the Exterminator extracts himself from Mork's grasp and agrees to talk to Mork, providing he keeps it short. Desperately grateful Mork resumes following the Exterminator as he moves around the apartment spraying, telling MOrk that one thing he's learned is that life is too short, except for the bug he stomps on. Alarmed, and wondering whether the Exterminator couldn't have just rehabilitated the bug instead, the Exterminator tells him to forget about the bug. The bug died happy. Bugs are always happy, he tells Mork. Because, they build miles and miles of tunnels, but they always find their way back to the chamber where they started out. Mork not seeing his point, leads the Exterminator to tell him that is what he suggests for Mork and Mindy. Mork asking if he means for him and Mindy to follow some silver fish home?
Wondering if he's talking to himself, and controlling his irritation, the Exterminator explains he means for them to go back to their roots. That insects are a lot smarter than they look and you can learn a lot from them. As Mork's mind kicks into gear, starting to come up with a plan, the Exterminator hands him a receipt. As he heads for the door, Mork follows, thanking him profusely for helping to spackle up his marriage, addressing him as Marty as per his overalls. Only for the Exterminator to tell him that Marty is dead and left him the uniform, and his gag ice cube with a fly in it. As he leaves, Mork is exultant and relieved both, thinking that if Sonny Bono had had termites he'd still be married.
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Up in the snowy hills above Boulder, an eager Mork carefully leads a blindfolded Mindy by the hand into a two storey house under construction, a picnic basket and blanket in his other hand. Telling her she's going to forgive him the minute she sees where they are, she dryly remarks, 'Yeah? Well, we better be in Paris'. Lining her up just in the right spot, and removing her blindfold, Mork reveals to a confused Mindy that this is actually the spot where they first met.
Taking a further moment to look around she finally recognizes it. Smiling and suddenly nostalgic, she walks through the half built, icicle draped house frame, recalling the night she found him wearing his suit backwards, and walked home with him thinking he was a priest. Mork feels emotionally energized by their return there, like a salmon returning to it's spawning ground, but when he hugs her they realize they are not technically alone, a team of roofers above them catcalling and whistling at them.
Mindy is eager to go, but Mork doesn't want to leave feeling this is too important. When Mindy queries whether he believes that coming back to a place like this can actually change anything Mork is absolutely adamant that he does. Struck by his earnestness, Mindy relents and they embrace again, only for the roofers to start again. This time another voice shuts them down and the couple are joined by Phil the Foreman, a hyper romantic, who comes down to apologize to them. Mistaking them for the couple building/buying the house, Mindy explains to him that this is actually where they first met, but that they'll leave. Phil however loves why they are there, and insists they can't possibly leave and ruin their beautiful warm moment. Getting them a couple of hard hats to cover insurance, he asks them how they met, and while Mindy sheepishly tries to pass it off as typical 'dumb' boy meets girl stuff, to her shock Mork launches into a full unexpurgated retelling of how they met, including her being stranded by her creep date who stole her car, his arrival from space by Egg, all the way through their marriage to the hatching of their son. Thankfully Phil is so keen to tell them how he met his own wife, he barely registers anything Mork has said, which shocks Mindy almost as much.
When Phil finally heads back up to let them be alone, a flabbergasted Mindy wonders how Mork could have told a complete stranger everything about them?! Mork agrees, confessing to having being so muddled lately that he can't think straight. Sitting with him on a stack of planks, Mindy admits to feeling the same and together they wonder what it is that it is making it so hard to reconnect as a couple. Reflecting, Mindy concludes that they have never actually had it easy. Recalling how he shrank away to nothing, she's been cloned, and he was turned into a dog on their wedding day. Mork agrees but wonders why, if they can get through all that, they are finding it hard to get through this? Mindy conjectures that it's a level of self pressure...that, now that they're married, it seems like everything seems that much more important, even their failures. Mork doesn't feel like they are failing, and Mindy agrees, feeling that they can't expect to know all the answers, and it's just because they're married they think they are supposed to.
Mork confesses that he panicked when he thought they were going to be alone again, but Mindy consoles him, saying at least he tried, while she got so uncomfortable all she did was push, trying to make him say things she wanted to hear. And that neither of that is *them*. Mork nods, smiling a little saying that this right now, talking it through, is them. Taking his arm, she feels they have so much going for them, they don't need exotic dinners or to pull crazy stunts to prove they love each other. Mork agrees, moving to the picnic basket, figuring he won't need what's inside now. On opening it he reveals the white doves he had inside, sending them flying up into the sky.
Deeply touched by the super romantic gesture Mindy earnestly tells him that she loves him. Taking her hands he tells her the same. And can now tell her why. As soon as he starts however, the roofers start in to using an electric saw, forcing Mork to shout it to her, everything inaudible to everyone but her, until the saw cuts out leaving Mork yelling out a rather intimate confession about her, which sets the roofers off wolf whistling again. As Mindy rolls her eyes at them, Mork draws her back to sit with him, placating her, telling her relating has it's place, but what's really nice is to just sit together, holding hands, watching the sunset together...over the half built wet bar.
As they nuzzle doing just that, the roofers interject again. Phil yelling down to Mork that it's almost knocking off time for them, and they want him to kiss her, already! Mindy acquiescing, leaning in to share a romantic kiss with Mork, the roofers 'Awwwwing' in approval.
Trivia[]
General[]
Apart from a 3 minute interlude with Phil the Foreman at the construction site, Present Tense is almost a complete 2-Hander for Robin Williams & Pam Dawber, with all the dialogue between them only.
Fred and Mearth are mentioned but do not appear in this episode.
Dewey Fishbeck proves his uselessness again when not being one of the ones willing to go cover the kidnapped used car salesman story, lumbering Mindy with more work again, and ruining the couples romantic afternoon.
TV Guide - With Exterminator role still in listing.
Hamilton Camp
The Actor Hamilton Camp was cast as The Exterminator in the Cut Scene. The entire scene was cut from the final edit. But Camp's Exterminator still made it into that weeks TV Guide listing, rather than Ray Girardin's 'Phil'.
Mindy still talks about the spot above the lake/reservoir as it being the first place they met, so it still seems unlikely that Mindy remembers Mork as 'Vladimir/Lumpy' from the events of Long Before We Met, despite his giving her the tiara.
Pop Culture[]
While wearing his oversized foam Stetson, Mindy tells Mork he looks like a character from Tumbleweeds a syndicated newspaper comic strip by Tom K. Ryan that ran from 1965 to 2007, offering a skewed perspective on life on the American Frontier.
Mork refers to how much Fred & Mearth's camping trip sounds like the start of the 1972 movie Deliverance starring Burt Reynolds, and Jon Voight, where a group of campers run brutally foul of unwelcoming locals.
The Osmonds get another mention this time in their eye watering "casting" as the Donner Party who got snowbound in the Sierra Nevada mountain range in the 1890s. Some of the migrants resorted to cannibalism to survive.
Mork tells Mindy when she comes home he'll give her Magic, and if he can't get him, Kareem, jokily playing on and referencing American Basketball Legends Earvin 'Magic' Johnson and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
On seeing what Mork has done to the apartment, Mindy wonders if the Arafats are coming over for bridge? Referring to Yasser Arafat the leader of the Palestinian Liberation Organization (PLO). Ironically Arafat wasn't married at the time.
When Mindy returns to find the apartment transformed into 'Morrocofeller Centre', Mork does an impersonation of Peter Lorre and his unctuous 'passport for sexual favours' character from Casablanca (1942). Casablanca itself is subsequently referenced by Mindy to Fatima as having been her favourite film.
As Mindy crouches to sit on the giant cushions, Mork references Yogi Berra one of American Baseballs Hall of Famers and all time great catcher.
Mork makes another Slim Whitman reference, yodeling by way of North Africa.
When Mork offers Mindy a finger bath to wash her hands in, she notes it looks like Dish Washing liquid, to which he replies it is "And you're soaking in it!" another jokey reference to the famous 'Madge' and Palmolive ads, which purported to make your hands softer as you washed.
Mork impersonates Groucho Marx when presenting the second course of Couscous and Mahi Mahi, by way of Lou Lou in Walla Walla.
As they eat, Mork & Mindy attempt a re-enactment of the 'Lusty Eating' scene ala the movie 1963 Best Picture, Tom Jones
In the wake of the dinner fiasco, Mork refers to himself as an 'Outer Space Eddie Fisher , referring to the singer, and father of Carrie Fisher, who became renowned for messing up his love life.
Conservative intellectual and author, William F. Buckley gets another mention (and impersonation) when Mork tells Mindy if she wanted witty repartee she should've married Buckley.
In the middle of their argument, Mork calls Mindy 'Mz Marshall McLuhan . McLuhan was an internationally renowned philosopher in the area of communications and media.
Mork's 'To the Moon, Alice!' in response to Mindy calling him Spaceboy, is a call back to sitcom character Ralph Kramden's (Jackie Gleason's) famous cry in The Honeymooners when he was in the midst of a fight with his wife, Alice.
Leading a blindfolded Mindy into the house construction Mork tells her she looks like she belongs on What's My Line? the long running, celebrity laden game show where a blindfolded celebrity panel have to guess either the occupation or identity of someone brought out, with only a certain number of wrong answers allowed.
While she's still blindfolded he tells her they are now in the greatest place on Earth...after Burt Reynolds Dinner Theater in Jupiter, Florida. Which may sound like a gag but was a real place opened in 1979 by actor/movie star Burt Reynolds and featured a large number of well known stars.
During their reflections on everything they've been through, Mork comments that they have almost been through as much as Loretta Lynn prior to her 'sweet sixteen' party. Country and Western singing legend Lynn's life had been to the fore of public consciousness at the time, thanks to the Sissy Spacek's 1981 Academy Award winning portrayal of Lynn the year before in The Coal Miner's Daughter
The roofers yell down to Mork to hurry up and kiss Mindy as it's almost Miller Time which was the biggest beer advertising hit at the time, becoming synonymous with knocking off work.
Quotes[]
Mork: I understand Mind. Business before pleasure. But don't you worry. Tonight when you come home I'll give you Magic. And if I can't get him, I'll get Kareem!
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Mork: *about Fatima* I think she wants to dance with you, Mind.
Mindy: Ah...well...you go ahead, my naval jewel is off being appraised
Mork: Oookay...but it won't have the same effect without the halter top.
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Mindy: Mork, Is that supposed to be on fire like that?!!
Mork: Well it's kind of academic, Mind, because it is now!
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Mindy:*storming off* Alright! Just forget it! I'm sorry I brought the whole thing up!
Mork: Oh! Oh! Who is not communicating *now*, Mz Marshall McLuhan?
Mindy: Well what's the point in communicating with someone who has nothing to say?!
Mork: Oh well maybe I'd have something to say if I wasn't being interrogated by the Boulder Gestapo!
Mindy: Gestapo?!?!
Mork: Yeah! And I haven't even started yet.
Mindy: Well you've got a lot of nerve calling *me* names, Spaceboy!!
Mork: Woahhh...*gestures* To the Moon, Alice!!!
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Mork: Boy Mind, when you open your eyes you're not gonna be mad at me anymore!
Mindy: *blindfolded* Yeah? Well we better be in Paris.
