Little Orphan Morkie

"Little Orphan Morkie"
Season 2, Episode #22 (#47) in series (95 episodes)
When Mork is threatened with deportation, Exidor agrees to adopt him in "Little Orphan Morkie" in Season 2 (ep.#22).
"Mork & Mindy" episode
Guest Star(s):	Charles Lane Noah Hathaway Priscilla Morrill
Network:	ABC-TV
Production code:	222 (2x22)
Writer(s)	Bruce Kalish & Philip John Taylor
Director	Howard Storm
Original airdate	February 7, 1980
IMDB	Little Orphan Morkie
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Little Orphan Morkie is a Mork and Mindy episode from season 2, also the 47th overall episode in the series. Co-written by Bruce Kalish and Philip John Taylor, the episode, directed by Howard Storm, premiered on ABC-TV on February 7, 1980.

Synopsis

Mork's visit to Immigration the year before returns to bite him, leaving him threatened with deportation. Mork and Mindy only having a few days to either marry him off or find someone to adopt him.

Plot

Mork returns home to the Apartment with young friend Jud, who has recently moved into the neighborhood, and after Mork took him to the movies today is now helping him out carrying in groceries. In part for Mork 'covering' for him at the grocery store when Jud pulled a live lobster out into a shopping cart. Bagging the groceries themselves however proves to have been a mistake, with the bread flattened, and the eggs (to Mork's dismay) smashed to pieces. Pulling it from his pocket, Jud asks him what he wants him to do with the mail. Mork tells him just to leave it on the counter as it will all be for Mindy, but Jud notices one of them is for him. Surprised he opens it to discover it's a a letter from the U.S. Department of Immigration and Naturalization. Reading it out, it informs him that pursuant to his visit to the service last year (Mork & the Immigrant) there are questions arising from the form he filled in, and if he doesn't head to the offices to answer them he risks the termination of his stay in the U.S. Jud is confused and Mork explains to him what happened when he visited the departmental offices the previous year, thinking they had thrown the form away after what occurred, but seemingly not. Jud still doesn't know what it means and Mork explains he's at risk of being deported, thrown out of the country. Feeling he better go down to the offices to check it out, Jud says he'll stay and tell Mindy where Mork's gone.

"Little Orphan Morkie" in star-spangled "Uncle Sam" outfit to impress Judge Baker

Down at the Boulder County Justice Center, Mork is in the office of Judge Baker, dressed up in full 'Uncle Sam' outfit complete with white goatee, doing a mixed up patriotic medley. Baker, immediately alerted to Mork's 'whackiness' looking through Mork's file wants to know where Ork is, Mork going to point into the sky through the window blinds, only for Baker to write it off as further whackiness. Asking if Mork has any identification papers, Mork says no just the Bill of Rights. Baker commends him on his enthusiasm, and, his spiffy costume, but warn him citizenship isn't granted on personality alone. As Mork is listing off the 50 states (Fear, Anxiety, Catatonic love) an agitated Mindy quickly enters, apologizing to the Judge for barging in, Jud having told her where Mork was. Confused she asks the Judge why this is happening having thought it had been sorted last year. He tells her there are still some questions to be answered on the form (they thought had been binned). Starting with his occupation, Mork nearly gives Mindy multiple heart attacks when he answers he's an observer of their primitive...reasonable...wonderful....planet. Finally saying he gets money from 'odd' jobs. Mindy asks the Judge if it might be quicker to tell Mork what he has to do to stay in the country? For starters he says, he needs to bring him a Passport and a Birth Certificate. He'll hold the file for 5 days, after which without the documents, Mork will be deported. Knowing Mork doesn't have any documentation, Mindy tries to elicit as casually as possible if there is anything else he can do to stay in the country? Not unless he marries an American citizen he tells her.

Back in the apartment, Mindy gets to talking about what options they have. He could run away but then he'd be a fugitive. Or he could go to another country but he'd have trouble getting in anywhere without a passport. Maybe he could stay at the Shah's place, he suggests, but Mindy smilingly tells him she thinks it would be too hard for him to adapt to another country. But she could with him he suggests, saying if they went to China they could be Mork & Ming, or Siberia, Mork & Mindovitch, or Italy where it would be Mork & Mindestroni....or Latvia where they'd be Laverne & Shirley. He shakes his head a moment later saying she couldn't go, and she wants to know why not? He feels he can't take her away from her friends, her life there, her dentist. Rather than leaving America he suggests he disguises himself as an American tourist with a Nikon camera and 2 piece leisure suit, they'll rent a camper van and a couple of kids and put them in the back and drive around. Laughing, Mindy finally sighs and standing up suggests that really all they're left with is the Judges option, and suggests that they get married.

But Mork to her surprise turns her down, saying he knows that she feels marriage is a very special thing and she only ever wants to get married once, and when she does he doesn't want it simply to be her doing a favor for a friend. She presses the point though, saying she wants to help him, but he shakes his head, telling her he'll leave, and she'll forget about him. And he'll forget about her, in about two hundred years or so. Touched, she refuses to give up, saying they still have 5 days to come up with something, sitting down with him at the table. But Mork feels he's 'doomed'. Reaching into his pocket he pulls something out, saying at least he has something to remember her by. Looking at what he has in his hands curiously she asks to see what it is, and he slowly hands her a silver locket but asks her not to open it. Her curiosity increased she asks him what is it? He explains the locket holds the very first tear she ever shed for him. Stunned, she asks him if he carries it with him, and he nods. Beyond touched she tells him that's so nice and he tells her in turn that, he hopes one day, if he ever gets real real lonely, he can open that locket and brush that tear away, and it'll be sort of like having her there. Near tears she grasps his arm, as she gazes at the locket, before there's a knock at the door. Getting up she opens it to Jud. Mork coming to greet him.

Assuming he's come to say goodbye to him, Jud shakes his head saying he saw something on TV that he thought might be able to help, about orphans in the Vietnamese war, and if Mork could find someone to adopt him in the same way he could stay in the country. Mindy thinks that's a great idea, but Mork suggests he's allergic to silk and he doesn't like rice. Rolling her eyes, Mindy slaps him lightly and thanks Jud who heads out happy to have been of help. Turning to him, Mindy thinks that all they need to do is find an American citizen to adopt him. Yeah, he agrees but who would adopt him? Me, she suggests? Seizing on it as a way to resolve the issue, Mindy grabs the Yellow Pages to search for Adoption Agencies, but Mork watches her with agitation, and finally asks her to stop. Telling her he doesn't think her adopting him is a very good idea. She can't see why saying she'll adopt him and everything will be alright. But then she will be his mother he points out. He refuses to let Mindy become his new mother, ostensibly, so as not to break the old ones (a test tube)'s "heart".

Agreeing to his wishes she says they'll have to find someone else, at which point Mr. Bickley arrives into the Apartment. "Mr Bickley," they chorus eyeing one another, before making a bee line for him. Having come to borrow a cup of 'sweet 'n low', Bickley is happy to impart his wisdom when invited to sit with them. When Mork asks him what he thinks about adoption, Bickley says he's all for it, it gives a guy an excuse to watch the Saturday Morning Cartoons. Mindy suggests that adopting a new son could really bring joy into one's life. Misunderstanding, Bickley thinks they are considering adopting a boy together, which he thinks is a good idea as they get to pick the kid of their choice and the kid will get parents who love him and want him. Though he advises them to check the background on him really carefully, check on his parents, where he comes from, whether he's had his shots. Uncomfortably, Mork asks would he asks those questions if he was adopting someone? He'd ask them of a new gardener, Bickley tells him. Feeling that's the end of that, Mindy thanks him for the advice and apologizes saying they are out of sweet 'n low. He tells her to hand onto the cup, as it's hers anyway he borrowed it from her the previous year. Heading out, he says goodbye, Mork echoing a forlorn 'Goodbye, America.". Mindy commiserates with him, Mork feeling he'd probably be too big for his lap anyway. They have to find someone who will adopt him who won't ask any questions about his past, she reasons.

At the Adoption Offices of the Boulder Justice Center, Mork and Mindy dressed up, nervously enter and take a seat beside an excited woman holding a baby. Telling them she's so excited she looks for the baby the two of them are adopting, and asks where the little one is. Mork telling her, she's looking at him. Surprised that he's the one being adopted, Mindy informs her the bigger ones are always the last to go. Further surprised she asks if Mindy is adopting Mork, but she quickly shakes her head, saying no, not her. The reason for their nervousness is made apparent a second later when the door to the room opens again, and Exidor enters. In a pin stripe suit and tie, with a buttoner carrying a briefcase and wearing his robes like an overcoat. Any similarity to normality is dispersed the moment Exidor tells one of his entourage to 'put that thing away! There are ladies present!'. Greeting each other like father and son already, Exidor hands Mork back the invisible present he gave him he left in the other office. Taking a quick hand, Mindy removes Exidor's robes, telling him she'll hold on to that for him, and thanking him on both her and Mork's behalf for doing this. Exidor telling her he'd do anything for 'this waif' even dress up in 'this ridiculous outfit.

Quietly Mindy tells Exidor that Mork has passed every other interview, but this one is the big one, and asks him if he remembers what he has to do? Certainly he answers, he has to be dignified, respectful and just as crazy as everyone else in the world. Mork wonders if he can do that, and Exidor tells him he's great an impressions getting them to watch him as he approaches the lady with the baby. Seating himself beside her, he greets her, commenting on the lovely day it is, and her charming child. Thanking him, she smiles down at her baby as Exidor looks back and Mork & Mindy asking if that's madcap enough for them? The pair looking hopeful. Until Exidor tells 'Maurice' not to chew on the lady's skirt. Grabbing hold of her baby tighter, she moves away rapidly as Exidor tells her she's lucky polyester doesn't fray. Mindy telling Mork she thinks they are in trouble.

Before they can do anything, the Adoption agent, Miss Kalinowski, enters and calls for 'Mr Exidor'. Telling Mork that's him, Mindy wishes him good luck and makes a bee line for Exidor. Desperate for this to work, Mindy tells him not to talk too much and try and play it cool. Like a night in Siberia he assures her, before telling invisible groupie Steinmetz to 'wash that' before he puts it his mouth, leaving Mindy looking forlorn as they go to the desk and she sits down. On seating themselves with her Miss Kalinowski asks them who is adopting who? Mork introducing himself as Mr Mork and his father to be Mr Exidor. She informs them she has the records of their earlier interviews but essentially the question of adoption rests on this interview, and asks for Exidor's references. Exidor sits staring at her with a perma smile on his face, until Mork taps him and suggests they're in the briefcase, Exidor repeating that they're in the briefcase. Mindy watches on edge as Exidor pulls out the references and gives them to Miss Kalinowski. And then pulls out a rubber chicken telling Mork 'Lunch!' Mork shoving it back into the case fast as Mindy covers her face with her hands...thankfully Miss Kalinowski seeing nothing.

Reading from the references he gave him, she notes Exidor has a Ph.D. in Philosophy, having studied with Spinoza...who died 300 years previously. Exidor commenting no wonder he never got his report card. Mindy zips in quickly to 'explain' he means 'Mel Spinoza' his friend from Harvard, and that was just a little joke. This, Miss Kalinowski notes, is not a place for levity, warning Exidor it could cost him a son. Exidor politely agreeing. The key question she says is why does he want to adopt someone as old as Mork? Exidor gives an eloquent plea for the necessity of parental love at any age, which truly moves Miss Kalinowski to believe that they truly do love each other. As she turns away in tears to grab a Kleenex, and blow her nose, Exidor grins hugely at Mork, 'She bought it', Mindy sitting up in delight. Turning back to them, Miss Kalinowski confesses she had her doubts, but he is a fine man and he now has a son. 'Junior!', 'Mon Cher Papa!' the two men embrace. Handing Exidor the papers she tells him to have them notarized and brought back to her, her wish his command he informs her.

Drawing back to Mindy, she enthuses that they did it! Mork commenting that Exidor was brilliant. Exidor suggesting that if they could bag what he had just said they could double the corn crop in Kansas. They are stalled when Miss Kalinowski signals across to them to be careful, those papers are the only copies they have. Exidor telling her not to worry, before he ducks violently making Mork and Mindy duck with him in alarm, before he yells at Pepe for throwing a frisbee in the room. Looking from him to Miss Kalinowski, Mindy grabs hold of Exidor and drags him out of the office as quickly as she can.

Returning from the Adoption offices to the Apartment, Mindy enters laughing and talking about Exidor, only to turn around and see that Mork isn't behind her. Going back to the door she calls after him, then stands back rapidly as he steps quickly into the room, holds his hand to his ear and asks 'Mindy?! Is that you?!" Laughing and slapping at him lightly she tells him to cut it out, while he says he's just trying to be a chip off the old Pop. He tells her that Exidor has put him in his will, getting everything he was going to leave to his Burro, a bale of hay. He was also giving him the Colorado River, but Mork told him he had no place to put it. Amused, Mindy sits on the couch with him, still a little concerned with one thing. For the first time the Government actually has records on him. But Mork doesn't think so. The Immigration Bureau has closed his file on him, now he's adopted, and Exidor didn't trust the Adoption Bureau with the papers, so he put them in his private vault. Surprised to hear Exidor has a private vault, Mork clarifies for her that means a dumpster outside of a fish store.

Laughing she surmises it sounds like he's safe for a while anyway. But Mork is contemplative, considering that they got real close to being married. Nodding, Mindy agrees thinking on it, and wondering what that would've been like. Mr & Mrs Mork. Engaged by the thought, Mork slides closer to her on the couch, imagining it. Thinking on how after a few years of marriage he'd come home and open the door to greet her, and Dave and Rick their two sons, imitating a teen boy telling him how good he looks, and how nice it is to have him home. He'd watch TV with a 6 pack of Ginger Ale, and after a few years develop a little Ginger Belly, and they'd have to buy lots of aspirin for all the headaches she'd get at night. Then they'd get older, then a lot older, he says, making himself sound like an elderly man. Recounting how they'd sit out on the porch in the motorized rocking chairs that would rock for them as he played with his pacemaker. Then finally, one day, he'd lean over taking about an hour to get real close to her, leaning in to whisper in her hearing aid that after all these years of her being so nice to him, she's going to tell her something that no one else knows. He's really a.....grabbing at his chest he keels over into Mindy's lap, leaving her frustrated, laughing and smacking him.

Mork gives his report to Orson telling him of his close call and nearly getting banned from the U.S. Orson asks why didn't he just move to another country? Easier said than done Mork notes borders being guarded by an incredible obstacle called red tape. Besides he's become accustomed to this place, and Mindy's face. Is he welcome to remain there now, Orson asks. Mork taking the stance of the Statue of Liberty and saying there's a woman carrying a torch for him telling them to send her their tired, their poor and their huddled masses. A nice sentiment, Orson notes, Mork agreeing except that there's also a guy down the immigration office saying not too tired, not too poor and not too many. Orson wants to know how he convinced them to let him stay. Mork telling him about adoption, where humans who like being parents can find others who need them. Like an emotional swap meet. Do they get a reward for doing it, Orson asks? All he knows Mork says is that their lives are richer for having done it. And that's how the U.S. was founded, by adopting people from other countries, a few Vikings, some Spaniards, some Englishmen, some Africans, some Asians, some Irish, Eastern Europeans, then before you know it, a Birth of a Nation! Mork marches off, and then returns in Native American mode reminding everyone about them.

Continuity

As had happened, albeit subtly, in The Mork Syndrome, with Mindy humming the theme tune, Laverne & Shirley is again referenced, at length this time by Mork, as a TV show, despite Mork interacting with Laverne in the Pilot, and the show sharing the same Happy Days Universe. Something that would happen again in Putting the Ork Back In Mork, Part 2.

Apart from their actually getting married, although it's only an a story, the picture Mork relays to Mindy about their marriage indicates their having regular 'teen' boys, and them growing old together like a regular married couple. All of which would be turned on its head at the start of the next season, when Orkan aging and birth would be reversed. It also doesn't take into account the difference in Orkan / Human aging rates, with Orkans a lot longer lived than humans.

Trivia

Orkan 'Facts'

• Orkan's longer lives are again referenced with Mork saying it would take him about 200 years to forget about Mindy.

General

• Child actor Noah Hathaway had previously appeared as 'Boxy' in Battlestar Galactica debuted by ABC in the 78/79 season alongside Mork & Mindy, but cancelled after it's first season. He would go on to star as Atreyu in the classic film The NeverEnding Story in 1984
• Charles Lane who played Judge Baker, was a close personal friend of Robert Donner, appearing in this Exidor heavy episode (though not in any scenes together). Lane was a legendary character actor who memorably appeared in a vast array of films in the golden era, including those by Preston Sturges and Frank Capra. and TV shows, such as 'I Love Lucy' and 'Petticoat Junction' His then-most-recent major television role was a recurring part on ABC's Soap, portraying the judge presiding over Jessica Tate's murder trial.

Pop Culture

• Mork quotes film auteurs Ingmar Bergman and Federico Fellini in dissecting the Roadrunner Movie he and Jud went to see.
• Mork finishes reading the letter from Immigration signing it off 'love Jimmy', referencing President Jimmy Carter.
• Mork queries what about 'Charo'? when the Judge tells him it's impossible for a 'Whacky' alien to get into the country, referencing the uninhibited, exuberant Spanish actress and singer who was a ubiquitous presence on American television at the time.
• Mork talks about getting arrested, convicted, sentenced to death and strapped into a green energy powered electric chair at the orders of Jerry Brown who was the Clean Energy running Governor of California.
• Mork comments that if he was to become a fugitive he'd probably be pursued by a one armed immigration officer, referencing the classic TV show The Fugitive. starring David Janssen.
• Mork references The Iranian Revolution suggests he could stay at the Shah's place. The Shah of Iran then in exile after his overthrow, and living nationless in Egypt.
• Mork asks Mindy to stop her finger's from doing the walking as she searches through the Yellow Pages for adoption agencies. "Let your fingers do the walking" being the catchphrase for the Yellow Pages.
• Mork hopes whoever adopts him its not Roy Rogers as if he dies he'll stuff him and put him in his museum, referring to Trigger, Roy Roger's famous horse.
• Mork tells Orson he's grown accustomed to Mindy's face, playing on the song I've Grown Accustomed to Her Face from My Fair Lady.
• He does an impersonation of Mae West as the Statue of Liberty.
• Mork tells Orson the influx of people leads to 'Good Griffith! The Birth of a Nation!' the (1915) movie by D.W. Griffith, and is in this case merely a play on the title...as the movie doesn't' actually have anything to do with the early years of the U.S. that Mork is talking about, and rather deals with the Civil War, the latter half of which is synonymous with being sympathetic towards the KKK and racist ideals.
• Mork marches off whistling the traditional folk tune 'The Girl I Left Behind Me' which became popular as an Army/Cavalry march.

Quotes/Excerpts

• Jud: Be careful what you say
• Mork: Yeah you're right it's the Government. If I duck too many questions they'll think I'm chicken and my goose is cooked.

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• Mork: I know the names of all the States. There's Anxiety, Depression, Fear, Catatonic Joy, Catatonic Love....

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• Judge Baker: *to Mindy* Are you with him? Or are you normal?
• Mindy: No, no, I'm with him.

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• Mork: My astrological sign is Nefarious with Egg Rising.

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• Judge Baker: We'll start with occupation. You gotta job?
• Mork: Absolutely!
• Judge Baker: What is it?
• Mork: Well, observing your Primitive Planet? *Mindy gasps and squeezes his shoulder* Observing your reasonable planet *Mindy pinches him* Observing your wonderful planet!!!

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• Mindy: You could run away, but then you'd be a fugitive
• Mork: Yeah, I'd probably be pursued for the rest of my life by a one armed immigration officer.

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• Mork: Nah, face it I'm doomed. But at least I have something to remember you by.
• Mindy: *sees locket* What's that? Can I see?
• Mork: Well don't open it!
• Mindy: What is it?
• Mork: Well inside is the very first tear you ever shed for me.
• Mindy: *gazes at him* And you carry this with you?! *he nods* Ohhh Mork that's so nice! *reaches for his hand*
• Mork: Well I hope one day I can...if I ever get real real lonely, I'll open it up and brush that tear away, and it'll be almost like having you there.

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• Bickley: By the way if you do get a kid and you need a babysitter? You can just drop him by my place. You can just use that window right there *points to Mindy's living room window and smirks*

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• Miss Kalinowski: Mr. Exidor The key question is why do you want to adopt someone as old as Mork?
• Exidor: Why? My dear lady, where is it written that a person is not entitled to love after a certain age? What you see before you are two people with complementary needs. He to have a father, I, to be one. What calloused heart could deny the fulfillment of this just because one of us isn't wearing diapers?

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• Exidor: If we could bag what I just said over there, we could double the corn crop in Kansas!
  

Image Gallery

Cast & Crew

Starring

• Robin Williams as Mork
• Pam Dawber as Mindy McConnell
• Tom Poston as Mr. Bickley
• Robert Donner as Exidor
• Ralph James as Orson
• Jay Thomas as Remo DaVinci (credited only)
• Gina Hecht as Jeanie DaVinci (credited only)
• Jim Staahl as Nelson Flavor (credited only)

Guest starring

• Charles Lane as Judge Baker
• Noah Hathaway as Jud
• Priscilla Morrill as Miss Kalinowski