| "I Heard It Through the Morkvine" | |
|---|---|
| Season 3, Episode #20 (#71) in series (95 episodes) | |
 Mindy, and just about everyone else, get some surprises when Mork tries to help her gain promotion at work via a proposed Gossip Show on KTNS. | |
| "Mork & Mindy" episode | |
| Guest Star(s): | Foster Brooks Patrick Cranshaw Bebo |
| Network: | ABC-TV |
| Production code: | 320 (3x20) |
| Writer(s) | See below |
| Teleplay by: | Jeff Reno & Ron Osborn |
| Story by: | Jim Fisher & Jim Staahl |
| Director | Jeff Chambers |
| Original airdate | April 20, 1981 |
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I Heard It Through the Morkvine |
| Episode chronology | |
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| "Old Muggable Mork" | "Mindy and Mork" |
| List of Mork & Mindy seasons/episodes | |
I Heard It Through the Morkvine was the 20th episode from season 3 of Mork and Mindy, also the 71st overall episode in the series. Co-written as a teleplay by Jeff Reno and Ron Osborn from a story co-penned by Jim Fisher and cast member Jim Staahl, the episode, which was directed by Jeff Chambers first aired on ABC-TV on April 20, 1981.
Synopsis[]
Mr. Sternhagen pressgangs Mindy into hosting a sleazy gossip show for KTNS. While Mindy has severe reservations, she risks a potential promotion if she doesn't follow through. Ever chivalrous, Mork takes it on himself to help her, and ends up alienating everyone he knows.
Plot[]
In the Apartment, the TV on Mork yells at it to wait for him, before zipping down from the attic in full colorful workout gear, complete with headband already to start his 'Shape up with Mary Lou' session in front of the TV. While doing a thigh workout , he gets stuck mid splits and has to be rescued by Mindy returning home from work. Mindy has a problem at work she wants to get his opinion on. Her boss, Mr Sternhagen has offered her a promotion and a chance to do her own show. The problem is that in the wake of a rival network coming up with a successful new gossip show, Sternhagen wants her to produce and star in one for KTNS.
TV Guide Ad - I Heard It Through the Morkvine - April 20, 1981.
Mindy has to explain what gossip is to Mork, spreading personal details of other people's lives, and uses the hypothetical example of if she was having a secret romance with Mr. Bickley. Which he immediately takes as gospel, acting heartbroken, till Mindy points out that it's not true, and that most gossip isn't true.. She points out newspaper and TV gossip columnists and he begins to get the idea. She has no idea how she'd make up stories like that, she doesn't even know if she could get stories like that. Going to have a soak, to make her feel a little 'cleaner', Mork decides he's going to help her get both the stories and the promotion and immediately swings into action.
The next day, at Da Vinci's Restaurant, armed with a high quality camera, Mork is snapping off the cuff photos of the customers including all his friends. Nelson & Glenda are on a date, and Remo is annoyed with Nelson for only ordering water rather than something he can charge for, his bad mood being caused by his arguing with Jeanie over the ambulance chasing lawyer she is seeing. Mork taking photographs throughout. As he's moving to the door, who should waltz in but Exidor, who has great news to share, an autobiography titled 'Lauren Bacall, By Myself', it having worked for her he sees no reason to tinker with success, he is all set and rushing off to Hollywood to sell the screen rights.
Back at the apartment, Mindy is talking to Fred, and still angsty over her decision. Fred tells her what has always worked for him is trusting his instincts. Agreeing she picks up the phone to call Sternhagen, saying if he gets mad, he gets mad. Ringing the station she gets on to Sternhagen, and tells him that she can't do the gossip show that's scheduled for that night. However when he asks her why, she starts to falter, unable to say that it is because her principles won't let her. Turning her back on Fred, she lowers her voice and tells Sternhagen she's really not feeling very well. It gets her off the hook, but leaves her embarrassed in front of her father.
Mork arrives into the studio, all ready to help Mindy, with the program with the stories and photos he's gathered, but finds her not there and Mr Sternhagen tanked up again. Sternhagen, after several goes, manages to explain that Mindy called out sick and has left him high and dry. When Mork asks him what that will do for her promotion chances he tells him set ferns will get promoted before she will, especially as he has to put Dewey Fishbeck's rating bottoming Farm Report. Anxiously wanting to avoid Mindy getting punished, Mork suggests that she'll be alright tomorrow, and he could substitute for her that night of Sternhagen would let him. He laughs in Morks face but then says sure, and tells him he has 15 seconds. Jake the Cameraman helps him get set up for 'Rumor Has It'. Jake counts him in, and Mork immediately takes on the bitchy persona of a gossip columnist, Tex Tile. Mork starts to twist the encounters he had with his friends, using photographs to manipulate the facts, implicating that Glenda Faye is driving Nelson to drink, that while Remo stopped his best friend from drinking, he had gone 'Raging Remo' on his sister Jeanie. He then takes aim at Mindy, showing a picture of her out of the shower, and running with her hypothetical given to him, indicates that she's having an affair with Mr. Bickley, having snapped him *in* the shower. He then tells Mindy over the air that he hoped this brought back lots of color to her cheeks. When they go on break, both Jake and Sternhagen are full of praise for Mork.
Which is not what awaits him at home. In the apartment Mindy is hosting the angry gang of friends gathering to have a go at 'Mork the Mouth'. When Mork enters they all glare at him, but he thinks its a surprise party for the great job he did. They all round on him, and he tries to fend them off with his camera flashes. Nelson silences them with a loud whistle and Mindy tells Mork in no uncertain terms how mad they are at him, but he still doesn't understand and wonders if its because he forgot the punch and cookies, which sets them right off again with all kinds of threats being made. Mindy calms them down and encourages them not to get physical as she walks calmly around to where Mork is in the kitchen, suggesting they all go home, and as she snags him roughly by the hair, tells them to let her deal with him.
They slowly agree and depart, leaving Mork to face the glowering visage of Mindy, and the prospect of 'the talk', before there is a knock at the door which Mork gratefully seizes upon. An unusually jovial and smiling Mr. Bickley enters, turns his beam on Mindy and asks her if she wants to get wet? Mindy tries to explain, but Bickley hushes her, and tells her he saw the show, and he didn't believe a word of it. But he's happy to report that the rest of Boulder did, and his phone hasn't stopped ringing. Mindy smiles through gritted teeth, shooting another glare at Mork, and as Bickley continues to preen, she tells him they think they've heard enough. As he heads out he puts on a shower cap and tells her she knows where to find him...which brings her attention right back to Mork. Violently pointing at the couch, she stamps the slouching Mork into place, who cringes and begs her not to beat him as she moves to sit on the couch beside him. Holding her temper she asks him if she sees now what can happen when rumors get started, but he points out that Bickley was happy. One out of the whole town is hardly a good average she retorts. She tries to get him to see what it's like by asking him how he'd like it if she told everyone that he eats eggs, he shoots to his feet outraged, but when she asks him how it feels, she's forced to snatch the camera off him as he tries to use it to evade the question. He tells her he didn't tell any lies, but she points out that half truths are often worse than lies, but he counters by querying why she was going to do it then? She tells him she never said she was going to do it.....just that she got sick. He asks her isn't that a half truth? The point she says, is that he better do something or he is going to lose all his friends, and she better do something or she's going to lose her job.
The next evening, the next edition of Rumor Has it is going out, and Mindy is in front of the camera. Todays show, she tells the audience is about what makes a good gossip report, and to help her do it brings back Mork, in a bit she's rehearsed with him. Though of course Mork goes off script, showing how easy it is to make her sound like a dog beating, goat and sheep owning weirdo...trying to get him back on track to what they rehearsed she gets him to show why her news report and his would come out so different. Mork gets her to pick out any story from the news, and she reads of a young girl Amy Prescott, being rescued from a fire by a volunteer fireman Rob Wilson, suffering smoke inhalation and needing to be revived by mouth to mouth and is recovering in county hospital. When Mork retells it, it sounds like a steamy romance where Rob Wilson snuck into Amy Prescotts room wearing rubber boots and a helmet, pressing his parched lips to hers and roaring off in his long red vehicle. Mindy tells the audience she's beginning to understand, and tells them she doesn't think she can do that kind of reporting even if it means her job. Mork too makes an announcement to the audience, regretting the hurt he caused his friends, naming them each, that none of what he said was true. Mindy leaves it up to the audience to decide if they want gossip reporting or the truth, and they cut to a break.
Mr. Sternhagen enters and tells them the phones are lighting up with calls from their friends who like the show and forgive Mork. Mindy tells him she can't do the kind of gossip reporting he wants, and he says she leaves him with no choice. Before he can finish, Mindy is shocked when Mork says he'll do it. But he assures her he has one more story up his sleeve, and demonstrates another gossip piece where the subject is Sternhagen himself showing him a picture of Sternhagen with a pretty blond on his knee. Sternhagen insists that that is his daughter, but Mork says why ruin a good story with the truth? Getting the message, Sternhagen tears up the picture agrees to pull the plug on the gossip show, gives her the night off and picks up with the Farm Report himself. Mindy notes to Mork that Sternhagens daughter is really beautiful, and Mork agrees but thinks she must not get on with her mother, as when his wife came into the restaurant, she dropped to the floor and crawled out the back.
Morks report to Orson starts in a confidential whisper, telling him he has a story that'll make his toes tingle, talking about gossip, rumors, innuendo...and how people love to hear stories as long as they aren't' about them. Orson asks him whether humans like to hear stories that aren't' true? And Mork says absolutely your skinniness, making his point to Orson. He tells him that sometimes though these stories get out of hand. Earthlings have a privilege called freedom of speech, but is it really free if it costs someone their reputation? Orson asks Mork if he means this freedom must be referenced with caution? And Mork agrees wholeheartedly, that it comes with a built in responsibility of what not to say and when not to say it. That said humans will always have an appetite for juicy titbits, even if most of it is hard to swallow.
Trivia[]
General[]
- I Heard It Through the Morkvine was the lone episode from a story by Jim Staahl (Nelson Flavor), in collaboration with Jim Fisher
- Along with the season finale, Reflections and Regrets, it marks a rare instance where the entire cast makes an appearance, including Exidor.
- We get another Shiksa mention when Mork reacts to Mindy's exampled assertion that he eats eggs as gossip, with his retort of "Lying Shiksa Goddess!!"
- Dewey Fishbeck, and his Farming Report come in for something of a hammering from Mr. Sterhnagen.
- Though he would be mentioned again frequently in the 4th season this episode marks the third and final appearance of Foster Brooks as Miles Sternhagen, Mindy's boss.
Pop Culture[]
- Mork examples a picture of an unbelievable event as 'Sonny Bono getting a standing ovation' Sonny Bono, the singer/musician ex husband of Cher, and father of Chaz Bono
- When Mindy talks about gossip columnists on TV, Mork cites it being like 'Dan Rather slinging Roger Mudd ' both men having been rivals for the position the legendary anchor Walter Cronkite vacated at CBS when he retired, with Rather beating out Mudd.
- In his search for the 'truth about MASH' Mork asks information if Corporal Klinger is really Danny Thomas's sister. Jamie Farr who played Klinger in MASH (who dressed up in women's clothes to get sectioned), was, like actor/producer Danny Thomas a Lebanese American, and Thomas was actually Farr's mentor.
- Mork asks the priest in Da Vinci's tell him about his latest secret romance, but in a gag around the confessional, tells he'll read about in the magazine True Confessions a confession magazine targeted at young women readers, or in 'Vatican' After Dark an entertainment magazine that covered theatre, cinema, stage plays, ballet, performance art, and various artists.
- 1978s Lauren Bacall by Myself. stolen by Exidor for his own autobiography, was one of the biggest selling 'Old Hollywood' autobiographies ever. He has devoted an entire chapter to never dating Shelley Winters, the 2 time Oscar winning actress who reveled in having had a dating list of male actors as long as Errol Flynn had among the ladies.
- In casting Exidor in the movie of his life, Mork notes that Fabian, the former teen singing idol and actor is too old. Benji (the dog) is too short, and they can't afford Suzanne Somers, the Three's Company Star whose new salary demands were allegedly due to the influence of her husband Alan Hamel (which would come up again in the S4 ep Metamorphosis, the TV Show).
- Sternhagen praises Mork telling him he could have sworn he was listening to "Ms Rona" if he hadn't seen Mork's hair move, referring to TV & Radio Hollywood Gossip Columnist Rona Barrett
- On set with Mindy, Mork launches into a 'How late was he?' gag, answering himself with the start of 'Well the rabbit...' referring to the 'The Rabbit Died' outcome of the pregnancy test when a woman is 'late'
- Mork jokily references Walter Cronkite's famed "Who, What, When, Where, Why?" report on the Vietnam War, that effectively pulled the rug out of Lyndon B. Johnson's continued push to continue the war, when giving his scandal mongering version of Mindy's Amy Prescott / Rob Wilson story.
Quotes/Excerpts[]
- Mary Lou: There that should work out your bust
- Mork: Great! When I left Ork I said Earth or Bust now I have both! Yay!
_____________________________
- Mindy: I sort of have this problem at work. Mr Sternhagen my boss wants to give me a promotion and a chance to do my own show.
- Mork: Mind. On You poor pitiful Min! That is a problem, how are you ever going to live it down?!
_____________________________
- Mindy: See it is a chance to move up, but on the other hand I don't know if I can go on the the TV and gossip. What do you think?
- Mork: Well Mind, in order to give you the advantage of my superior intelligence and computer like brain I need one minor piece of information. What's gossip?
_____________________________
- Mindy: Like for instance if I told you I was having a secret romance with Mr. Bickley. *Mork's head turns sharply* And you told someone else, then it would be gossip.
- Mork: *stricken* You and Mr Bickley?! *gets up and moves away from her* Ohhhhh Min! I mean in these promiscuous times I shouldn't care, *dramatic* but I'm always the last to know! I mean you're not hypoglycemic, you don't need a sugar daddy come on now!! Oh Mindy! Alright I'll leave!! I don't want to be excess baggage or a third nostril! *bows head*
_____________________________
- Exidor: Mork! Been looking all over for you.
- Mork: Haven't you tried my house?
- Exidor: What a novel idea!
_____________________________
- Exidor: I've written my life story. I call it, Lauren Bacall: By Myself, t worked for her, why tinker with success?
_____________________________
- Exidor: Oh, did I tell you? The museum wants to do me in wax. They say it stops hurting after it cools off.
_____________________________
- Mork: *about Mindy being 'sick'* Ohh...What will this do for golden career opportunity?
- Sternhagen: Awww well now!! Lookee here! *pulls Mork with him to the set* You see that fern? It'll be promoted before she will be.
_____________________________
- Mindy: Hey hey hey! Let's not get physical here. Maybe you guys should all go home and *grabs Mork hard by the hair* let me deal with this?!
- Nelson: That sounds reasonable Mindy, I guess we were taking the law in our own hands. Besides, it'll give me time to find a taxidermist. Mork will look great above my mantel.
_____________________________
- Mork: *stands by door, looking at Mindy glowering at him* Why do I feel like we are going to have one of our little talks?
_____________________________
- Mork: Everyone was real happy when I told them real juicy pieces of gossip Mind. I mean i don't even understand why I'm right now on the endangered Orkan list. It's not fair Mind...it's not fair...it's not fair!
_____________________________
- Mindy: Let me put it to you this way...How would you like it if I told everyone that you eat eggs!
- Mork: *stands up outraged* Lying Shiksa Goddess!!!
Image Gallery[]
Cast[]
Starring[]
- Robin Williams as Mork
- Pam Dawber as Mindy McConnell
- Conrad Janis as Fred McConnell
- Jay Thomas as Remo DaVinci
- Gina Hecht as Jeanie DaVinci
- Jim Staahl as Nelson Flavor
- Tom Poston as Mr. Bickley
- Crissy Wilzak as Glenda Faye Comstock
- Ralph James as Voice of Orson
Guest starring/Recurring cast[]
- Foster Brooks as Miles Sternhagen
- Robert Donner as Exidor
- Patrick Cranshaw as Jake Loomis (as Pat Cranshaw)
- Gregg Berger (Voice) as Bebo
